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Dubya Audio (2006)
(Now serving 222 audible gems)
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We, we have met with Syria since I have been the President of the United States. We have talked to them about what is necessary for them to have a better relationship with the United States, and they're not unreasonable requests. You know, we've, we've suggested to them that they no longer allow — Saddamists to send money and arms across their border into Iraq to fuel the violence — some of the violence that we see. We've talked to them about, they've gotta leave the democrat Lebanon alone.
I'm pleased when, uhh, when, uhh, Iraqi leaders go to Saudi Arabia — and talk to, uhh, my friend, the King, of Saudi Arabia, and talk about how they can work together to achieve, uhh, stability. It's in Saudi's interest, it's in Jordan's interest, it's in the Gulf Coast countries' interests that there be a stable Iran, Iran that is capable of rejecting Iranian influence — I mean Iraq that is capable of ajec, rejecting Iranian influence.
After mistakenly interpolating Iraq with Iran twice, Dubya manages to correct himself. Washington, D.C., Dec. 13, 2006
We have gathered in tribute to Dr. Martin Luther King, to the ideals he held and to the life he lived. Dr. King showed us that a life of conscious and purpose can lift up many souls.
The White House transcript more generously recorded Dubya as saying "conscience", but the audio tells a different story. Washington, D.C., Nov. 13, 2006
Out, our Declaration of Independence makes it clear that the human right to dignity and equality is not a grant of government. It is the gift from the author of life. And Martin Luther King considered the Declaration one of America's great, as he called it, charters of freedom. He called our founders' words, quote, "a promise that all men — yes, black men, as well as white men — would be guaranteed the unailable right of liberty, life, and the pursuit of happiness."
He stood not far from here, on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. With thousands gathered around him, Dr. King looked out over the American capital and declared his famous words: I have a dream. His dream spread a message of hope that echoed from his hometown of Sweet Auburn, Georgia, to the pulpit of Dexter Avenue Baptist Church, to the Edmund Pettus Bridge. An assassin's bullet could not shatter the dream. Dr. Meth King's message of justice and brotherhood took hold in the hearts of men and women across the great land of ours.
When you listed to the audio, you don't exactly walk away with the feeling that Dubya has a lot of passion for making this speech. "Meth King" is an added bonus. Washington, D.C., Nov. 13, 2006
As the majority party in the House of Representatives, they recognize that in their new role they now have greater responsibilities. And in my first act of bipartisan outreach since the election, I shared with her [Nancy Pelosi] the names of some Republican interior de, decorators who can help her pick out the new drapes in her new offices.
Interestingly enough, the White House transcript claims that laughter followed this. You be the judge. (I think I hear crickets chirping...) White House, Nov. 8, 2006
MARIA BARTIROMO (CNBC): I'm curious, have you ever Googled anybody? Do you use Google?
DUBYA: Uhh, occasionally. One of the things I've used on The Google is, uhh, to pull up maps.
The Google, available on the Internets. White House, Oct. 23, 2006
This morning my administration released the budget numbers for fiscal 2006. These budget numbers are not just estimates, these are the actual results for the fiscal year that ended February the 30th.
Dubya releases budget numbers for a fiscal year that apparently ended on a fictional date, Washington, D.C., Oct. 11, 2006
Our goals remain clear. Peace and security in Northeast Asia and a nukyular-free Korean Peninshula.
I mean — I — you have, one has a stronger hand when there's more people playing your same cards.
Dubya presents an alternate understanding of the rules of poker in explaining his stance toward North Korea, White House, Oct. 11, 2006
Once again North Korea has defied the will of the international community, and the international community will respond. This was confirmed this morning in conversations I had with leaders of China and South Korea, Russia and Japan. We reaffirmed our commitment to a nukyular-free Korean Peninshula.
The information that the Central Intelligence Agency has obtained by questioning men like Khaleikh Sheikh Mohammed has provided valuable information and has helped disrupt terrorist plots, including strikes within the United States. For example, Khaleikh Sheikh Mohammed described the design of planned attacks of buildings inside the U.S. and how operatives — were directed to carry 'em out.
There's nothing quite like information that provides valuable information... It would have been nice if Dubya had gotten Khalid Sheikh Mohammed's name right, though. White House, Sep. 15, 2006
You see, sometimes you can pick up information on the battlefield, sometimes you can pick it up, you know, through letters, but sometimes you actually have to question the people who know the strategy and plans of the enemy. And in this case, we questioned people like Khaleikh Sheikh Muhammad, who we believe ordered the attacks on 9/11.
This debate is occurring because of, umm, the Supreme Court's ruling that said that, uhh, we must conduct ourselves under the Common Article III of the Geneva Convention. And that Common Article III says that there, you know, will be no outrages upon human dignity. Uhh, it's, uhh, it's, it's a, like, it's very vague. What does that mean? Outrages upon human dignity. Tha, tha, that's a statement that, uhh, is, is wide open to interpretation.
If Dubya needs to have "outrages upon human dignity" explained to him, we're a lot worse off than we all feared. White House, Sep. 15, 2006
DUBYA: You can't expect me and people in this government to do what we need to do to protect you and your family if we don't have the tools that we think are necessary to do so.
MATT LAUER (NBC): Well that's an interesting point. And you said within the law.
LAUER: And yet you admitted that there were these CIA secret facilities. Okay?
DUBYA: So what? Why is that not within the law?
LAUER: The head of Amnesty International says secret sites are against international law.
DUBYA: Well, we disagree, disagree with them. And plus, my job is to protect you. And most American people — if I said that we had the, wha, who we think's the mastermind of the 9/11, they would say, why don't you see if you can't get information out of 'em, without torturing 'em? Which is what we did.
LAUER: Were, were you made personally —
DUBYA: My job is to protect this country, Matt. And, uhh, I'm goin' to, within the law.
LAUER: These —
DUBYA: And it gets second-guessed all the time by people who don't live in the United States, but let me remind you, September the 11th for them was a bad day. For us, it was a change of attitude.
"Change of attitude" would be an understatement, given the perspective on international law, extraordinary renditions and torture he is outlining here. White House, Sep. 11, 2006
WILLIAMS: Do you have any moments of doubt that we fought the wrong war, that there's something wrong with the perception of America overseas?
DUBYA: Well, those are two different questions. Did we fight the wrong war, and the absorally — I have no doubt. The war came to our shores, remember that. We were — we, we had a foreign policy that basically said let's hope calm works. And we were attacked.
WILLIAMS: But those weren't Iraqis.
DUBYA: No, no — they weren't — they, they weren't, uhh — no, I agree they weren't Iraqis, nor did I ever say that Iraq ordered that attack, but they're a part of, Iraq is part of the struggle against the terrorists.
"I have no doubt" gives the unintended impression that Dubya agrees with war critics, but his ill-worded defense moments later reasserts his position. Interview with Brian Williams (NBC). New Orleans, Louisiana, Aug. 29, 2006
WILLIAMS: The folks who say you should've asked for some sort of sacrifice from all of us after 9/11, do they have a case looking back on it?
DUBYA: Americans are sacrificing. I mean, we're, we're — you know, we pay a lot of taxes. Uhh, the, uhh — Americans sacrificed when they — umm, you know, when they economy went in the tank. Americans sacrificed, when — you know air travel was disrupted. American pax, taxpayers have paid a lot to help this nation recover. Umm, I think Americans have sacrificed.
Given an opportunity to comment on past policy decisions, Dubya decides to "wing it" instead, with predictable results. Interview with Brian Williams (NBC). New Orleans, Louisiana, Aug. 29, 2006
WILLIAMS: We always talk about what you're reading. As you know, there was a report that you have just read the works of a French philosopher.
DUBYA: Heh, heh, heh
WILLIAMS: Can you tell us —
DUBYA: The stranger —
WILLIAMS: Tell us the back story of Camus.
DUBYA: The back story of the — of the book?
WILLIAMS: Well, what, what led you —
DUBYA: What caused me?
WILLIAMS: What led you to this?
DUBYA: I was in Crawford, and uhh — I said, I was looking for a book to read and Laura said you oughtta try Camus, I also read three Shakespeares.
Dubya's final tally: One Camus and three Shakespeares. Perhaps next time there will be two Dostoevskys and a Poe. Interview with Brian Williams (NBC). New Orleans, Louisiana, Aug. 29, 2006
I've, I've got a eckullectic reading list.
I'm sure he must know the word "eclectic" but this sure sounds different, New Orleans, Louisiana, Aug. 29, 2006
We, uhh — I made my position clear — about this war on terror. I, uhh — and, and by the way, the enemy made their position clear yet again when they — when — when, umm — when we were able ta — stop 'em, see. And, uhh, I, I — the American people expect us to protect 'em. And therefore, I put this program in place, we believe, strongly believe it's constitutional. And if Al Qaeda is callin' into United States, we wanna know why they're callin'. And so I made my position clear, be interesting to see what other policymakers — how other policymakers react.
Dubya uhhs and umms his way through what should be an important policy explanation, and one he characterizes as being clear. Camp David, Maryland, Aug. 18, 2006
I'm, umm — this trip's a little different from the last time I spent the night here in Miami. Last night, uhh, Jeb and I had some crabs — with like members of the 1972 Miami Dolphins, Dan Marino and his — uhh, really dynamic wife, TV stars — Andy Garcia, a movie star. We had a fantastic experience. It's a lot better, by the way, than preparing for a presidential debate.
Just a, like, really good example of why Dubya should always have his comments prepared for him. Miami, Florida, Jul. 31, 2006
See, the irony is that what they need to do is get Syria to get Hezbollah to stop doing this sh*t and it's over.
Dubya shows his true diplomatic finesse, while gnawing on a dinner roll, in this exchange with British Prime Minister Tony Blair at the G8 conference, St. Petersburg, Russia, Jul. 17, 2006
I hear the voices, and I read the front page, and I know the speculation. But I'm the decider, and I decide what is best. And what's best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as the Secretary of Defense.
I'm not sure which is scarier, Dubya "hearing voices" or Dubya informing us that political discourse is no longer necessary, White House, Apr. 18, 2006
REPORTER: Mr. President, you've made it a practice of not commenting on potential personnel moves —
DUBYA: Of course I did.
REPORTER: — of calling it speculation —
DUBYA: You can understand why —
REPORTER: But on five —
DUBYA: — because we've got people's reputations at stake. And on Friday I stood up and said I don't appreciate the speculation about Don Rumsfeld. He's doing a fine job. I strongly support him.
REPORTER: But what do you say to critics who believe that you're ignoring the advice of retired generals, military commanders, who say that there needs to be a change?
DUBYA: I say, I listen to all voices, but mine's the final decision. And Don Rumsfeld is doin' a fine job.
Dubya gets testy in his defense of Don Rumsfeld. For full effect, listen to the audio clip. White House, Apr. 18, 2006
And it recognizes that we have got to educate our children — now! — for the skill sets necessary for tomorrow. And this is a better place — there's no better place to talk about that — and there is no better place to talk about that right here at Parkland Magnet Middle School for Aerospace Technology. Thanks for letting us come by. God bless.
He reformulates the phrase twice but never quite gets there, probably because he was trying to get the long name of the middle school right in his head (although he nearly makes "Magnet" sound like "Maggot" in the end). Rockville, Maryland, Apr. 18, 2006
I'm not through yet, you know I was uhh. Uhh — hehe — the, umm, it is — I'm glad my Vice President is not running for President, not that he would make a great President, but that it, uhh, it certainly changes the dynamics inside the White House. It's uhh — and it is an amazing moment, you're right, it's, I, I guess it's the most wide-open race ever. Oh, it can't be ever. Ever's too long. But — in a long time.
Is Dubya being carelessly candid here, or just screwing up as usual? Johns Hopkins' School of Advanced Int'l Studies, Washington, D.C., Apr. 10, 2006
Q: Do you believe this, that the war in Iraq and the rise of terrorism are signs of the apocalypse? And if not, why not?
DUBYA: Hmmm, uhh, hah — ummm — I, the answer is — I haven't really thought of it that way, heh, heh. Heh. Here's how I think of it. Ummm — heh heh. First I've heard of that, by the way, I, ah — uhh — the, uhh — I, I guess I'm more of a practical fella. Uhh. I vowed after September the 11th that I would do everything I could to protect the American people. And, uhh — my attitude, of course, was affected by the attacks. I knew we were at a war. I knew that the enemy, obviously, had to be sophisticated, and lethal, to fly hijacked airplanes, uhh, into — facilities that would, we would, killing thousands of people, innocent people, doin' nothing, just sittin' there goin' to work.
The White House transcript is considerably more generous in its accounting of this exchange, which is peppered with false starts, snickers, and umms. I reckon this wasn't the sort of question he was expecting, since he never actually answered it, even after the 73 seconds that expired here. Cleveland, Ohio, Mar. 20, 2006
After the bombing, most Iraqis saw what the — perpetuators of the, of this attack were trying to do.
Stumbling through his analysis of the motivation of the "perpetuators" behind the bombing of the Golden Mosque in Samarra, Iraq. George Washington University, Washington, D.C., Mar. 13, 2006
The third part of our plan is to develop new technologies to defend against IEDs. We're puttin' the best minds in America to work on this effort. The Department Defense recently garnered some 6 — gathered 600 leaders from industry and academmia, the national laboratories, the National Academy of Sciences, all branches of the military, and every — uhh, relevant government agency to discuss technology solutions to the IED threat.
Dubya's truncated variation of the Department of Defense, use of the word "garnered" instead of "gathered", and mispronunciation of "academia"... All missing from the official White House transcript. George Washington University, Washington, D.C., Mar. 13, 2006
I believe that a prosperous, democratic Pakistan will be a steadfast partner for America, a peaceful neighbor for India, and a force for freedom and moderation in the Arab world.
The only problem with that theory, however, is that Pakistan isn't part of the Arab world. And it isn't a democracy, either, for that matter. New Delhi, India, Mar. 3, 2006
Obviously, nukyular power is a, uhh, renewable source of energy, and the less demand there is for non-renewable sources of energy, like fossil fuels, the better it off it is for the American people.
I've seen the video. Dubya smiles and is emphatic when he claims that nuclear (or nukyular) energy is renewable. New Delhi, India, Mar. 2, 2006
Uhh, there's a lot of noise in Washington. There's a lot of flattery, there's a lot of, umm, criticism, just a lotta noise. And, uhh, I keep it in — I, I try to keep my life in perspective. I try ta — I don't try to, I do keep my life in perspective. And, uhh, I am focused on achieving certain objectives. Every day — I, I, I said this, and I mean this — every day I think about how to protect America. Every day in the morning, first thing in the morning, I get brief by our intelligence officers about potential threats. That's every morning I'm aware of, uhh, eh, of — the world aroung us. And I told ya — that — that it's, it's, it's — 9/11 changed my thinkin', so my focus is there.
Dubya careens through an explanation of how he keeps his life in perspective, and offers up some gems you have to hear to believe. Tampa, Florida, Feb. 17, 2006
You know, I said — home ownership is valuable. We talked about home ownership here, how important it is — and somebody wakes up the next morning and their home's gone, and not only that, they ended up out in — somewhere else, you know? Good news is those people found love, which is a wonderful thing about our country. And I think about those kind of things, so to answer your question, I appreciate that, umm — first, I'm wise enough not to fall into your trap, because — there are some keen reporters payin' attention to every word I'm sayin'.
Love: Dubya's shorthand for Americans embodying the Christian ethic of loving one's neighbor as oneself. I guess it allows him to reduce the number of words he needs to say, but clearly that didn't make this come out any smoother. Tampa, Florida, Feb. 17, 2006
You know, I like, uhh, my buddies from West Texas. I liked 'em when I was young, I liked 'em when I was middle age, I liked 'em before I was President, and I like 'em during President and I like 'em after President. And it's fun to have 'em come to the White House.
Dubya shoots for downhome charm and instead enters a vortex of bizarre phrasing, Grand Ole Opry House, Nashville, Tennessee, Feb. 1, 2006
The enemy is a — a bunch of cold-blooded killers — that have taken a, a great religion — taken parts of a great religion and converted it into a, a, an ideology that is, they perverted a great religion, and they have an ideology.
You know, it's amazing, when people say to me, well, he was just breaking the law. If I wanted to break the law, why was I briefin' Congress? Heh!
Countries such as ours have an obligation to step up, working together, sanding, sending a common message, to the Iranians, that, uhh, uhh — that it's — the behavior — kind of — trying to — uhh, clandessintly develop a nukyular weapon, or using the guise of a civilian nukyular weapon program to get the know-how to develop a nukyular weapon is unacceptable.
Three "nukyulars" and one "clandessintly"... who could ask for anything more? (And what is a civilian nukyular weapon program?) White House, Jan. 13, 2006
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